Oh my gosh, I am WORE OUT!

I spent most of today hiding in a corner and snapping pictures for one of my friends.  Today was her wedding rehearsal dinner thingy, and tomorrow is her big day.  I’m not a professional photographer by any means, but for some reason I am the first person she thought of when they were trying to find someone affordable for their wedding.  Seriously? ME? ha!  Of course I agreed, not only would it be good experience for my skills but I know how much they need to prepare for their baby and a few thousand dollars for someone to take some pictures, in my opinion, is insane.

So as much as I don’t like to be around people, I went.  She wanted me to use her Dads camera.  Which was fine, but I was really worried.  Using a camera for the FIRST TIME is not something you want to be doing on a SPECIAL day.  But the camera was her Dad’s and he had used it on her sister’s wedding day.  And they are both now deceased.  So I said ok. 

Wow, that’s really sad now that I read it all typed out. 

Anyway, I spent the day hiding along the walls trying not to be too intrusive on the dinner.  I found myself thinking about my own wedding.  And wondering if there will ever come a day when I regret not having a “wedding”.  That much money, it always seemed to me, could be spent on much better things then flowers and thousand dollar photographers…..

At some point it struck me, that my Dad was somewhere in Illinois, doing the EXACT same thing as me!  He was doing some photography for a wedding too!  I wonder if his mind drifted to his marriage(s).  I imagine him sitting in the corner snapping pics of smiling faces and wondering to himself if they know just how much “work” they are signing up for. 

I wonder what someone who has gone through a hard divorce thinks about as they sit watching their friends get married.  Do most think “Good for them for giving it a go” or do they think “What the hell are you thinking?!”   Shoot, I’ve never been divorced, and I still think “What the HELL are you thinking!?” lol…

As I drove home today, I thought mostly about my Dad.  He is such a good guy.  I wonder if it bothers him that he isn’t married, or if he is ok with it.  It’s not something we really have ever talked about.

I do think that some people just aren’t “supposed” to be married.  I, myself, had no intentions of getting married.  My DH and I had been together for 4 years or so, and even had a daughter already when we got married (2001).  It had gotten to a point where every phone call with family ended with “Well, you two should REALLY get married!  You have kids together for Christ’s sake”.  Seriously?!  Are you kidding me?!  Having kids is NOT the reason to get married!  Am I right or am I right?!

Well, one morning I woke up and after listening to the “you should…” lecture yet again I looked at my man and said “You know what, lets go get married so they will all shut up.”  So we did.  We went and got his dad and my gran and went and got married. LOL…Of course, now the phone calls are all “I cant believe you didn’t have a wedding!”  Geeze, REALLY?  You just cant please some people!

I hope my Dad knows that even if he wasn’t the “perfect” husband, that he sure turned out to be the perfect Dad.  I think being in crappy marriages, kind of gave him a sense of “self”.  If that makes sense.  He is lucky enough to have a job that affords him the things in life HE likes, and he isn’t working his life away trying to please someone who just will never be happy. 

hmm, now that I think about it a bad marriage is kind of like a bad bra.  They both keep everything in its place for a time, but there is nothing like stripping them off and getting a full breath of air.

Anyhoo,  today has just lasted forever.  To my surprise I am absolutely wore out….

I hope you all are having a great weekend!  Im off to find something easy to cook for supper and heading to bed.  Tomorrow is going to be another long day….

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